Why? Just, Why?

I weighed in at 114 today. I'm kind of really pissed though, because last night I was 114.2 Although, I hung out with my friend and yes we did binge. A lot. I ate until I was ready to pop. Then I went to the bathroom to pee, waited fifteen minutes and ate some more. Then I went home and continued to binge. Why? Why am I such an idiot? Did I really think that was a good idea at the time? However, I was kind of happy, because I've done this before and usually end up eating a lot more at home. I didn't as much this time, but I still ate. Which is very bad.

I purged after, and it was very successful, and almost easy. Like my body knew it was going to get rid of the excess weight. So that night after the purged I weighed in at 114.2 So I suppose I should be feeling lucky that I still lost weight, even if its a fraction of a pound after a mega binge.

Went out with the boy yesterday, too. Tried to take me out to lunch, told him I wasn't hungry. He got mad and lectured me on how I need to eat and that he thinks I don't. Can't be mad at him for being right. I promised him I would eat with him on Monday. Guess I should fast Sunday (which will be perfect I have work all day) and Monday morning.

Hanging out with other friends soon, good thing they aren't bingers like my close ana friend is. I'm pretty sure I can resist the food then.

Today I ate a little more than intended. An orange, toast, cucumbers, and jam. Totaled to around 350 calories. I didn't want to eat much of anything due to the day before. I only ate the cucumbers because I was extremely dizzy and had to go to work.

Right now I'm super hungry. And usually I'm not hungry. Probs because I stretched my stomach out yesterday and with the little I've fed it today it feels empty. It'll shrink tomorrow, I'm sure.

I watched the food channel all day, pretending to eat whatever delicacies were on the tele. It really helps me cope. Anyone else do this?

Hunger is just fat melting off the body! Stay strong!