Starting this Blog today! I was so inspired by all you other girls out there being strong and skinny.
I read your stories late at night (due to terrible insomnia) and relate to every word you type.
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
I want to be skinny, too. I need to be skinny. I must compete with all the other girls I see everyday. I must weigh less.
Today, I weigh in at 118lbs! It doesn't sound great, but from where I've started I've lost over 20lbs, it was a big accomplishment. I hate being this fat. I hate that when I get on the scale I know that it groans beneath me. I hate how I weigh 118, it makes me feel great but I look like I weigh 130. What is up with that?
I used to work out all the time, but with so much restricting I feel so tired. I don't have the energy for much. I used to have a four pack but now I'm just lazy too much pot, maybe? I feel as if I must defend my title of the fastest and strongest on my team. What if I can't do that this season because of lack of calories? Yet again, I don't care if I'm this light :)
Also, where did my period go? Will I never be able to have babies (not looking forward to it anyways) Everything is going wrong, but I feel good having dropped a few more pounds this week. I'll worry about it later I guess.
Today I Ate:
1/2 cup cheerios 50
1/4 cup grapes 28
1/4 cup raisins 120
1/2 cup zuccini 16
1/2 cup squash 16
2 slices sweet potato 40
3 tbsp salsa 15
2 slices bell pepper 15
1 popsicle 40
1 tbsp peanut butter 95
7 baby carrots 28
1/4 corn on the cob 20
Total: 483 calories
in addition, I also ran today
21 minutes at 7mph 216
24 minutes at 6mph 188
10 minutes at 9mph 134
10 minutes at 5.2mph 80
Total: -618 calories
I'm so tired I don't want to get up and run again tomorrow. I need energy so I must eat. But then I have to run twice as hard to get rid of it. Ever feel like this?
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