I wish I could reset. I wish I didn't have the demons. I ate and ate and ate. and then of course purged. I gained another four lbs. I think. I'm around 115.4lbs. I'm mad. I'm sad. I'm crazy. I'm crying. Why? Why can normal people just eat what they eat? Why can't I just do that and be pretty? Why does it have to be eat everything or eat nothing? Why. I'm such amotherfuckingwhale. But I don't do anything about it. Instead of going for another run, I sit here and cry.
I'm leaving for a stay over camp soon. Excited. My biggest binges are when I'm alone. I won't be alone there. Plus it's a lot of outside time. I'm hoping to get to 100lbs by the end of August. I don't think it's possible though. I want it to but I'm too much of a weak little bitch to achieve it.
I hate sitting here and reading all these other posts by you pretty successful girls. Why am I stuck? Why can't I be loosing and skinny like you? I can't see my hip bones anymore. Fuck.
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