Yesterday was better than Wednesday. And today even better than that. Kept it hovering around 400, per usual. I was still a little snappish, but better than before. I feel better, toned. A classmate of mine told me I looked great and skinny, and we aren't more than acquaintances. I get nervous when people tell me I look lighter, it makes me uncomfortable, like they'll figure out my secret or something. I worry a lot.
I want to go clothes shopping but I'm too worried. What if I buy things, go on a fender bender binge and then they don't fit anymore? What if my family has had enough of my avoidance and makes me gain weight and then I look like I'm bursting at the seems?
My current binges, which I haven't had since about 4 or 5 days ago, are much smaller than before. Like 1,000 calories feels like a binge to me. I feel gross and I get sad. But it makes me happy binges are on their way to being extinct :)
Family celebrations coming up soon
=
dinners out
pot lucks
cake
barbecues
=
FAT ASS ME
soo maybe I shouldn't speak so soon. I haven't weighed in recently, I hope I'm pleased next time I check. Making pot brownies with a friend soon. Worried. munchies. Usually I'm stronger under the influence for some reason. But I still have to eat a brownie. oh, fudge.
